A New Year’s Invitation
In 2023, I invite us all to skip the new year's resolutions. Let's not make a list of grand pronouncements about how we'll be new, different, and better in the new year. Beyond the fact that 43% of people expect to fail before February, and a mind-blowing 23% do so in the first week, new year's resolutions may be harmful to our mental health. The pressure related to making and keeping resolutions can increase stress. Resolutions can also increase negative self-talk because they tend to focus on aspects of ourselves that we already feel poorly about, rather than things we want to celebrate.
None of this means that self-improvement is a bad thing to want or that we should not set goals for the new year. Instead, let's talk about how to do it healthily and in a way that sets us up for success rather than failure.
Here are some tips:
Be Realistic
Consider the SMART and BSQ goal-setting methods.
SMART is an acronym that stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant/Realistic, Time-Bound.If your desire is to save money. Your SMART goal might be that you will save $50 per week for 6 months, which is specific and can be measured on a weekly basis.
The BSQ goal-setting format consists of three simple components:
Think Big.
Act Small.
Move Quick.
If your desire is to improve your friendships, you could start by calling or texting one friend per day. This is something you can do quickly and track easily.
Limit the number of goals
Setting too many goals at once can lead to feeling overwhelmed and giving up. Instead, chose one or two goals to focus on at a time.Have an accountability partner(s)
Friends, family, partners, and/or therapists can all help you keep on track with your goals. They can also be there to support you if you struggle with your goals.
