It Doesn’t Have to Run in the Family - Part 2
Recognizing generational curses...traumas...patterns is hard work because they are often as instinctive as breathing, to make no mention of the courage it takes to question habits that have "worked" for literal generations. But as hard as it is to recognize the negative habits and thought patterns we inherited, it is doubly hard to break free from them. Breaking generational curses can be the work of a lifetime and force us to face some hard emotions, such as guilt/shame, grief, loneliness, and fear.
Still, this work must be done because the traumas we inherit are "often covert, undefined, and subtle, surfacing through family patterns and forms of hypervigilance, mistrust, anxiety, depression, issues with self-esteem, and other negative coping strategies. We also know that trauma can have a significant affect on the immune system and may contribute to the generational curse of autoimmune diseases and other chronic illnesses."
So let's break down how we can break these cycles through consistent conversation, compassion, and creation:
Conversation
One of the ways that general curses thrive is through silence. Talk with your family about their experiences and how they have coped with trauma. Talk with a therapist, mentor, and/or trusted friends and family members about different coping strategies. Make this an ongoing conversation that banishes silence and shame.
Compassion
Although absolutely necessary, breaking generational curses can feel arrogant and disrespectful, as though you are spitting on the memory of your ancestors. Maintain a sense of good will and empathy toward your family and yourself. Remember that we are all flawed and that the things we have inherited are a result of previous generations doing the best they could with the information and resources they had. Remember that you are also doing your best for yourself and for future generations.
Creation
Generational curses represent an existing narrative and path. Envision a new one. Decide what you want to bring to the world, how you want to see yourself and your family, and what you want to believe about yourself, your family, and the world. Embrace this as an open-ended creative process that will shape your path and perhaps that of generations to come.
