It Doesn’t Have to Run in the Family - Part 1
When it comes to heredity, there are many things we are more than happy to inherit (dad's sense of direction, mom's even temper, grandma's talent for sewing, etc.), but what about generational curses —those family legacies we would rather leave behind?
Generational curses are negative habits, behaviors, and traumas that are passed from one generation to the next. This typically happens within families with curses passing from parent to child; however, generational curses can also happen on a larger societal level. Think about the things that have passed from the Baby Boomers to Gen X and then trickled down to Millennials, Gen Z, and now on to Gen Alpha.
Generational curses stem from upholding traditions and ways of being that cause pain or hold us back just because that's the way it has always been done. A beloved professor once told me, "every time an elder dies, a library burns." What she meant is that older generations have a lot of valuable experience and wisdom to share and that is absolutely true. However, elders can also pass down well-intentioned lessons that harm —lessons that are the result of their own trauma.
Some examples:
"Hard work pays off "
INTENTION: To encourage a strong worth ethic and sense of ambition.
IMPACT: While not necessarily false, this sentiment can easily lead to working to the point of burnout because it ties self-worth to productivity.
“Don't air our dirty laundry”
INTENTION: To encourage discretion about sharing personal information.
IMPACT: When weaponized, it turns into an obligation to suppress our true selves and only share the Instagram-worthy, picture-perfect versions of ourselves.
"God will take care of it"
INTENTION: To offer religious support and encouragement based on shared faith.
IMPACT: While religion is a powerful source of strength for many people, sentiments like this are often used to dismiss cries for help. This sentiment also implies that people who don't draw strength from religion are inherently wrong.
Have you noticed these ways of thinking in your family or community? Take a moment to think about the generational curses that you have inherited and may currently be continuing. What do you think the initial purpose or intention of that behavior was? How is it impacting you now?
