Self-Care for the Holidays
Let's face it! Although our families are supposed to be the people with whom we feel safest and most comfortable, life doesn't work out that way for all of us for a variety of reasons. Furthermore, even in the happiest, most close-knit families, spending time with large groups of family members or with family members that you don't see regularly can be draining, especially when you add in the pressure and demands of the holiday season.
With that in mind, let's talk about some practical steps to take care of yourself and make the best of family time during the holiday season.
Set realistic expectations
You aren't going to completely overhaul your family dynamic over the course of a single meal. So don't try to! Instead focus on achievable goals like not arguing with that one cousin who always gets under your skin.
Strategize ahead of time
You might not be able to stop Aunt Sally from commenting on your weight, but you can decide how you'll respond when/if she does and make a plan to minimize one-on-one time with her. You can also decide ahead of time when you will leave.
Take breaks
If you become overwhelmed in social situations, it's ok to take breaks. Find a quiet corner to sit for a couple minutes. Offer to run an errand or wash the dishes to get out of the crowd.
Have a buddy
If possible, have a safe person you can check in with throughout the day. This might be a partner or a family member attending the gathering with you, but it could also be a friend you text for moral support.
Focus on the positive
You aren't obligated to spend time with family just because they're related to you. So remember why you do choose to spend this time with family! Maybe it's the meal or getting see a particular person or persons. Whatever the reason, focus on that!
Leave whenever you want or don't go at all
Like I said above, you aren't obligated to spend time with your family so give yourself permission to leave if you need or want to. Also, remember that choosing not to spend time with family is a perfectly valid choice. Only you can decide what is best for you!
