Normalize the Little Asks

Photo credit: Monstera Production

Let’s talk about something we all struggle with but rarely admit: asking for help with the little things. No, not the big, dramatic “my life is on fire” moments—though those are tough too. I’m talking about the day-to-day stuff that feels too small to ask for help with but big enough to overwhelm us anyway.

Maybe it’s folding the laundry that’s been sitting in the basket for days. Maybe it’s sending an email you’ve been avoiding or cooking a meal after a long day when cereal is this close to becoming dinner (again).

These moments might seem trivial, but they’re not. Asking for support—even for the small stuff—can make a big difference in your mental well-being. So, why is it so hard to ask?

Let’s be real: asking for help often feels like admitting defeat, even when it’s for something as small as unloading the dishwasher or brainstorming what to cook for dinner. But here’s the truth: asking for help is *not* a sign that you’re incapable. It’s a reminder that humans aren’t wired to do everything alone.  

In fact, delegating or sharing responsibility is one of the healthiest things you can do for your own mental health and that of people around you. Studies show that social support is strongly tied to resilience and stress relief; people who regularly share small tasks or responsibilities experience less stress and better emotional well-being. Research has also  repeatedly shown that acts of kindness can improve well-being and build community. So, why do we make it harder than it needs to be?  

One of the reasons asking for help feels so heavy is because we think it says something about us—like we’re lazy, incompetent, or failing at life. But imagine if someone you care about asked you for help with something small. Would you think they were a failure? Of course not. You’d probably be glad they trusted you enough to ask.  

Now flip that perspective: when you ask for help, you’re giving others the opportunity to feel connected, trusted, and valued. That’s not a burden—it’s a gift.  

Building the Habit of Asking  

Making “the little asks” a normal part of your routine can help take the pressure off. Here’s how to ease into it:  

1. Find Your Go-To Helpers

Identify a few people you feel comfortable leaning on for everyday support. It could be a partner, roommate, friend, or even a coworker. Having a go-to list makes it easier to reach out when you need something.  

2. Practice with Low-Stakes Requests

Start with small, no-pressure asks like:  

• “Can you remind me to take a break at lunch?”  

• “Would you mind giving this email a quick proofread?”  

• “Can you help me pick out an outfit?”  

  These requests feel manageable for both you and the other person, making it easier to build confidence in asking.  

3. Talk About It

Normalize conversations about needing help. Something as simple as saying, “I’m trying to get better at asking for support,” opens the door for others to do the same.  

4. Celebrate the Wins  

When someone helps you with something, acknowledge it—both to them and to yourself. A quick “Thanks for making my day easier” can reinforce how good it feels to let others step in.  

 Let Go of the Guilt  

One of the biggest barriers to asking for help is guilt. That little voice in your head might say, “They’re going to think I’m lazy” or “I don’t want to bother them.” But here’s a perspective shift: most people *want* to help.  

Remember, asking for help isn’t just good for you—it’s good for the helper too. Research shows that helping others increases feelings of happiness and decreases stress. When you let someone help you, you’re giving them a chance to feel purposeful and connected. It’s a win-win situation.  

Build a Culture of Asking  

Imagine a world where everyone felt comfortable asking for help with the little things. It would be a lot less stressful, right? You can start building that culture in your own life by being open about your needs and encouraging others to do the same.  

• Set the example: The more you ask for help, the more you normalize it for the people around you.  

• Offer help, too: If you see someone struggling with a task, offer to pitch in. It reinforces the idea that asking and giving help is part of healthy relationships.  

• Talk about it openly: Share your own stories about asking for help, like the time your bestie helped you clean out your closet or your coworker walked you through an Excel formula.  

Asking for help with the small stuff isn’t just about lightening your load—it’s about creating connection, reducing stress, and building a healthier, more supportive life. When you ask for support, you’re not just taking care of yourself—you’re giving the people around you a chance to show up and strengthen your bond.  

So, go ahead and ask for that little bit of help. It’s not a weakness. It’s self-care.